There are a lot of major events happening at the moment on a global and local level. Even at a personal level. These events compound and build. What am I supposed to do next? We might ask ourselves, unsure of what exactly it is that we are supposed to do. I’ve certainly felt a bit useless at times these past few days. Not that it’s been a degrading feeling. I don’t want this to be confused with worth or happiness. These are sky high. Life is amazing. At the same time, events can be happening around you that leave you with such a level of unsureness, of not knowing, or having no real idea of what to do next, that you feel useless in the moment.
On Sunday a fortnight ago, Brisbane flooded. We are okay. The apartment is okay. Cars are okay. Family is okay. For the most part, so are friends. In the moment though, as the water level continues to rise, as you see first hand the water moving closer to your street, it makes you question what to do. Data helps, that is for sure, but when you see the water inching closer, does it matter? Yes, although it’s difficult to remember that at the time.
The river peaked lower than 2011, I say to myself, as the water levels across the road continue to raise, flooding most of Montague Rd, and sending the street two over completely under. Both of these can be true. In fact, our street remained dry. On Saturday and Sunday morning, I had a high level of confidence. There was good data available – water levels, flood maps, the design of the six-year old building and its flood protection features. The dam was not released at the same pace. What was unknown though, was the severity of the rain bomb. A lot of rain was falling. Would this be the game changer? Probably not. You can never be 100% sure. Yet seeing the water around you. My brain fried. Then our apartment started leaking. The outer facing bedroom wall got seepage in a few areas, the carpet gradually became wetter and wetter, and some of the boards started to crack. Whilst none of these were a major structural issue (the room wouldn’t fall in on us while we slept), it makes it difficult to think. You have to pause. You also need to evaluate the level of risk that you are wiling to take on, and for everyone this answer will be different.
On Monday morning, at the peak, the news reported that the worst was yet to come. And so, with access about to be cut on the roads, we packed up and left. I don’t regret the decision. It’s okay to be wrong, plus the negative events were almost minimal. We relocated for a day, no big deal – we still had power, internet, food, and supportive parents who welcomed us with room to set up and work, and if need be, stay. Thankfully, all was well for us, and in the afternoon we were back in our apartment, putting towels on the bedroom floor, trying to get some of the dampness and moisture out of the carpet. When you boss calls without much context and asking how you are, saying that things got weird in the bedroom is a great faux pas to make, and instantly lightens the mood. It fills your own cup instantly, that’s for sure.
These events also provide good learning outcomes. We have more experience and knowledge. We know what to look for next time – check the water levels and dam release, look at what streets around us did. Remind ourselves that not all streets are created equal – they have different amounts of drains and pipes, gradients of the road, height above sea level, and so forth. We also need to reconsider, on each occasion, the level of risk we are willing to accept and live with. If we had a newborn, perhaps that risk is lower and we would have left earlier, because having to navigate wet roads to get to the supermarkets might not be appealing as it was now.
Part of the reason why we might feel useless is that we have very little influence on the outcome. For sure, we can influence our mind and thoughts, taking elements from Stoicism or even just everyday Australian of is what it is. Understandably though, you don’t want it to be what it is. Yet you quickly realise that there is vey little to be done. I can’t imagine what I might feel if I find myself in a situation where I realise our home will go under and we have to pick a few things to fit into the car before we leave.
The timing of the events compounded with a lot of other things going on. This isn’t just about the floods. It’s about Ukraine. It’s about work. Combined. There’s very little to be done. Sometimes you just have to accept reality. Work is going to be bad for at least the next few months. With that acceptance, it’s actually okay. I can make a plan to keep my cup full during the work day.
I don’t want this to come across as doom and gloom, or to be misinterpreted as being unhappy. That is not the case. Rather, I want to recognise that a lot of things at once can create a sense of overwhelm or uselessness at not being able to control or influence outcomes. In these moments we need to be careful about what we choose to do next. There are choices. And we need to hold at the front of our minds just how easy it is to make things worse. Much easier. In fact, one of the greatest misunderstandings we have is that we don’t always recognise just how easy it is to make things worse. So as stressors and overwhelm increase, we need to build habits and space to pause and take a breathe. To make a coffee and think. Outline the different options available and think it through. Easier said than done. It’s a long term work in progress for me, that’s for sure.