I am no longer a climber.
I used to think that being a climber was my primary identity. I didn’t just climb. I was a climber. Now, I’m not.
These days climbing is not a major focus. It’s not what I spend most of time time doing. I’m not thinking about then next climb or wall that I need to send. I enjoy climbing, for sure. It still brings me a lot of pleasure. How I think about it now is different. To write this is one of the truest things I know right now.
Being a climber started around 2013 when I first discovered it. I was hooked. Very quickly it become the hobby for me. When I wasn’t working, studying, or on a trip, I was climbing. When I was oversees climbing would be part of the itinerary. When I was in Brisbane I’d be training during the week when not at university or work, and spent the weekends climbing. I have many fond memories of trips to Brooyar. The calendar was full of many different climbing plans.
First I focused on sport climbing. Then I really got into trad climbing in the USA. When COVID hit, I changed to bouldering as my climbing focus. Ropes took a back seat and my weekends now included boulder mats. My focus was on exploring the boulder crags in the area, and setting my sights on the next level to conquer (in rope climbing, the difficult is graded by a numerical number – e.g. 24. In bouldering, numbers are also used – although a 24 on rope is not a 24 for a boulder – and is started with a v – e.g. v2). With time, I was able to get some v2’s and v3’s. I had to work for a v4. I trained hard and after many months, got my first v5 one early morning at Toohey’s forrest. It’s still an achievement I’m very proud of. Then I send other v5’s. When I do he’d to the underground, I do work a v6. One day I know I will get it. Not soon, as my training is not climbing focused. Nor is my will or desire. I think of it as a preferred indifferent. Nice if it happens. I’m not going to go out of my way and make it the focus.
Climbing as a way of life started to take a backseat in 2021. It wasn’t just climbing that changed. I changed.
Other events and activities took my interest. I know that these will continue to evolve and change over my life. Change is a constant, as they say.
So if I am not a climber, then what am I?
Me.
Then, now, forever – me. And that can encompass a lot. Right now me is a husband, someone who loves to read and write, a podcaster, the occasional climber, a person who spends a lot of time with family.
The me is my values and how these are expressed. Being family focused might mean playing monopoly deal this week and going on a walk, it might mean playing tennis the week after, or swimming with children in a few years.
I’ve also reached a point where I am maturing into the next phase. Fate willing we will be able to have a family. I am taking on more responsibilities. Shouldering as much as I can. Not that any of this is overnight. To take on more responsibility, I had to get a lot sorted in my own life first.
Discipline is the path to freedom
Jocko Willink
Throughout COVID-19 podcasts peaked my interest. In particular, video podcasts. I would happily spend mornings watching people engaged in conversation whilst curled up on then couch sipping on my coffee. Through these podcasts and subsequent YouTube recommendations, Stoicism came to the forefront. I then started attending a meetup group here in Brisbane. I listened to more podcasts and read more books. It’s a great philosophy for life, and something I want to continue to delve in to, and continue to adapt to build out my own life and family way of living. We need to take and build based on our own circumstances.
I’ve disciplined parts of my day and am now beginning to enjoy the benefits. I’m more flexible due to my stretching, strong and bigger because I lift regularly at the gym, and feel and look better because my nutrition is much better than what it was. Eating well is the default. Not that the whole day is planned. There is still space to linger. To follow curiosities. To play and have fun.
One aspect I still need to improve is in my volunteering. Prior to my travels, I used to volunteer as a JP every second or third week at the local library. Since returning, my volunteering has remained at zero. Whilst I will continue to make charitable donations to causes that are important to me, I do need to start investing time into things as well. I’m not sure that returning to JP is the right answer, and it’s something for me to think about and make a plan for.
We change and grow, and come full circle back to our original interests.
The child is in me still… and sometimes not so still.
Fred Rogers
Whilst I have grown, matured and changed, in some ways my underlying interests haven’t. In the last few years, I’ve come full circle back to doing what I loved to do when I was younger. Hindsight can be a wonderful thing. It does seem rather obvious now. The underlying interests remain, what changes and grows is how we express these interests and how we use them in the pursuit of a good life.
I’m back to reading fantasy, non fiction, following my curiosity with ancient history and philosophy. I’m writing and creating again. Spending hours curled up on the couch reading is a fantastic day. I’m back to walks around the block most mornings and some evenings. We play card games and board games. These were all things I was passionate about growing up. Star Wars and anime are most of my TV watching time outside of YouTube and podcasts.
Family time is back up the top of the agenda again. I’ve realigned how I spend my time, and it feels great.
It is in these moments that we find ourselves. Our me. This is what I value. I’m living it. I’ve had to change and learn a lot along the day. I still have a lot to learn. For now, I’m excited with how everything is, and I love my love. Here’s to the current chapter, the past chapters, and the ones to come.
