Getting the basics in order

Life is long, if you know how to use it

Seneca

Recently I wrote about the kind of man I want to be – one that is kind, forgiving, a great husband and family member, someone that contributes to our community, and imparts practical knowledge to the world.

Before we can hope to achieve this, we have to make sure that first we get our basics right. I’ve been spending a lot of think recently thinking about what the basics are. For me, I currently see them as:

• Having a well maintained household – you can start small – make your bed, have an (one) ordered room
• Maintaining health and fitness
• Eating well
• Being adequate at our career/job so we can have a stable source of income
• Being attentive and present in our conversations and activities
• Communicating daily with our loved ones
• Sacrificing some of our earnings to invest into the future
• Having a philosophy as a way of life
• Getting enough sleep
• Getting enough sunlight – flood the eyes in the morning to maximise your cortisol – get outdoors for vitamin D

This list may seem like it is too much. Yet it’s just the beginning. Only when I have the basics sorted can I then be the person I want to be above. Only then can I put time towards being of benefit to the community, or sharing knowledge with others, or being an even better family member. 

Then there is what is actually in our control. Not much. The Stoics put forward that only our judgements are in control. I also think it’s in the actions that we choose to take. I can make sure that I consistently go to the gym and eat healthy meals. What is out of my control is the outcome. Yes, it is heavily influenced by the actions I take, but that doesn’t mean you can control it. We might still get ill. We might still get permanently injured. We might end up with high cholesterol regardless. We might not put on the muscle we want. It’s also a long process to, health, fitness and wellbeing. It can be years before you see results. Likewise, I can choose to discard negative judgements if things aren’t going my way, and instead celebrate and savour the good and happy judgements that we have. 

We need to do the work. Every day. I still need to do the work, I remind myself daily. The basics are far more important than we think. 

We need to shift our own perspectives and expectations so that we find enjoyment and fulfilment from doing these tasks. We need to believe that this ‘great ordinary’ is a life well lived. We also need to accept that by getting the basics right, only then can we accomplish what we want. It needs to become part of our core being. 

So how can we get there then? I’m still figuring it out myself. I am thinking about how can we structure our days so that we can achieve all that there is to achieve. Most of our day will be taken up by maintaining the basics, working, and ensuring time for adequate sleep.

Some answers I have are: 

• habits
• time allocation
• being clear on our priorities
• having a philosophy as a way of life

Habits allow us to build rhythms into our day, to ensure that things happen easier. We can anchor actions to other tasks so that things just happen – like flossing your teeth after you brush. 

We need to be mindful of our time. Build your morning and evening routines. 

Audit your time to make sure it’s spend on the basics and the things you want. Say ‘no’ where things don’t align. 

We also need to know what our priorities actually are. Is it family? Then use that lens to make decisions. Set a hard time to be finished at work so you are home to have dinner with your family – that might be a rule where you normally finish at 4:30pm and no matter what you are leaving at 5:00pm. 

Our days will change each day. We have to constantly find a balance. Every day. Things will happen. Competing demands will come in. Sometimes we might need to start work early to get a project done. Other times we will need to cut back on work commitments because our families need us.

What are your priorities? If you know, your decisions are easy. If it’s family, it’s not a difficult decisions to cancel on friends because your wife is getting an award. Family is important. That’s the priority. 

Intuitively I think that we know this. But to actually change plans is hard. 

If you think you know your priorities, look at your time log. Is that the case?

Then we have philosophy as a way of life. Guiding principles and ethics on how to live each day and what is virtuous to strive towards. It encapsulates a lot of the above basics and guides on what behaviours and goals we should focus on. 

Start at level one. Gain experience implementing the tasks. Level up once an item is a part of our daily lives. Keep gaining experience and levelling up. The basics become automatic. Then we can focus on slaying the dragon we have hunting. We can aim higher. 

All of this is much easier said than done. We’ll need tips and advice to help us get there. These are things I’m constantly thinking about. I’ve shared some of these already, and they’ll continue to form the basis of my writing and podcasts. How we can live out the basics will be a focus over the next few months. I’m excited to share more.