If you want to know what’s important to you, look at where you are spending your time
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I gave up social media two years ago. It’s made me a hard person to contact in some ways. It’s also meant that in most things, I am oblivious. If I’m not told in person, via email, or through a text, I don’t know.
It was a weird feeling at first disconnecting yourself from the ever present online environment, where if you refreshed your feed, you’d be greeted with some updated news. It’s also meant I’ve missed a lot of things – invitations to events, people reaching out because Facebook isn’t there to remind them that I have a birthday, or a photo memory popping up. I’m okay with all of that though. It’s not a complaint. I’ve gained time back, and I’m able to use that to focus on other things which are important to me.
I hadn’t realised how much time I was spending on social media until I was off. Things that I had been wanting to do but never really had the time for, I suddenly had the time for. This blog started, I was able to listen to more podcasts. I could read more. I could sit and think, reflecting on past experiences. I joined a meetup group and learnt more about the philosophy of Stoicism. I had much more time to focus on friends and family. If the price I have to pay is missing out on a few things and not being aware of certain updates – it’s a bargain and price I will willingly pay time and time again.
One benefit is thinking time. Not being on social media constantly has allowed my brain to rewire itself and be okay with the fact that sometimes nothing is going on. That it’s a good thing to actually be bored. If you aren’t automatically reaching for your phone to fill that void, then your mind will wander and you’ll be able to come up with new ideas (such as a blog post) or link ideas together, or remind yourself of something to do (such as reaching out to a friend).
Not that any of that came easy though. I didn’t quite social media and then magically start a blog the next day with a solid morning routine or preparing outlines, writing down thoughts and notes, or reading a book cover-to-cover. It still required discipline and a conscious choice to direct my time and attention towards things. The phone was/is still a distraction. No instagram? Let me check email 100 times in a 10 minute window.
Give it time, and the benefits show themselves. Sitting on the patio with a coffee, listening to the sounds of the birds. Walking with your wife and have an enjoyable and meandering conversation. Connecting with friends over a coffee and looking into their eyes and not screens. Watching a video podcast and be engaged and engrossed in the conversation. Rediscovering the passions and hobbies you had as a child that were still there and bring you a lot of fulfilment – writing, reading, anime, ideas.
To be clear, this is not the only answer. You still don’t have the time to do all of the things you want to do. You still need to make choices and decide what to let go of. I like video games – so if I want to get into a long mission on No Man’s Sky, I have to decide to do that – and also recognise (and not complaint) later that night when I don’t have time to read my book. If I’m writing in the morning over a coffee on the patio, I can’t complain that I wasn’t able to have a morning coffee and get engrossed in a video podcast. We still have to choose what we are going to pursue, and by doing so, what we aren’t going to pursue.
But what do we want to use our time for? What is it that we are pursuing? What port are we sailing towards? We need to know the answer to that question. Our game plan to get there will be different depending on these answers.
For me, free time is to:
- be with family and friends
- write and read, connect ideas
- coach and work with others
- go to the gym, hike, climb, ruck
- eat well and plan out different meals to cook
- attend novel experiences
- travel and quest
- improve myself
