When I first started writing as an adult, it was a chore. In my mind I wanted to be a writer. To put out long essays. Write thought provoking articles. Bring interesting ideas and reflections to a wider audience. I still do. Yet, when I sat down to actually write, to do the thing that matters, I ended up staring at a blank cursor, not sure where to begin. In retrospect, I was attempting to begin too big. One does not simply sit down and write their magnum opus first time around. Well, not me, that’s for sure.
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In high school I really wanted to put on size and muscle. I was obsessed with the WWE wrestling. Why couldn’t I be that big? I joined a gym, moved a lot of weights around, and failed to grow. I downed protein shakes and ate cheese before I went to bed because casein protein was the hidden key. Nope, didn’t work. I was always sore, and I guarantee you my form was terrible. I was trying to move straight to advanced without doing what’s required as a beginner.
We need to start with small steps first. I couldn’t begin to contemplate painting the interior of our townhouse until I had done the smaller steps of learning how to live in a townhouse, maintain it, mow, garden, hang photos. Now the thought of doing the next thing really excites me. I’m looking forward to it. To doing the next thing to really make the place ours. To get a new colour scheme and really make it pop when we walk in.
That’s three different examples. Let’s go back to the beginning. Let’s start small.
For me, I’ve discovered, learning to write and moving back into this interest I had as a child was surprising difficult. It still is. Growing up I would be writing all of the time. Then I just stopped. I rediscovered my interest when I was travelling, being able to tell stories of the places I had been. I can’t remember what drew me back to this desire recently. Maybe we just eventually return to the interests we had as a child if they are are wired in to us? I don’t know.
I’ve learnt to start small so that we can actually achieve what we want to do. Level up, increase the expectations. Repeat. To build a habit or a system, or improve our character, we need to give ourselves lots of evidence that we are the sort of person that does this. We want to keep the promises that we made to ourselves that we will become a writer, stay in shape, be a great husband. Start small so you can meet this promise. Then make incremental progress.
This means we can’t just jump into the morning routine to end all morning routines. Start by waking up without pressing the snooze button. That might mean putting your phone on the other side of the room so you have to get up out of bed. Then layer in a cold shower, then sunlight, then a walk, and so forth. It could even be starting with sunlight before screen light. Step outside, stare at the sky for a minute, then look at your phone and the notifications.
Once again I’m drawn back to the idea that building systems and habits is a key pillar for getting us where we want to be. On removing distractions and increasing our focus. That’s one of the keys to moving towards where we want to be headed. We need to avoid the distractions that take us away, and be focused on doing the things, however uncomfortable, that take us towards where we want to go. So how do we build systems and habits, and increase our focus? We need to learn what distracts us, and have discipline to do what is needed to be done.
We build our discipline one action at a time. Completing a step casts a vote in our favour, or gives us experience. Then we level up. Our discipline increases. Then we look back at see small wins. I get stronger because I’m disciplined at training and eating well. I’ve written some articles because I’m disciplined at writing during my allocated time. I’ve disciplined myself to go for a walk, and made it easy for this habit to take place by having my walking clothes out and ready with my shoes at the door. We continue to build. It starts with a walk around the block. It builds to a longer walk around the neighbourhood. Then wearing a backpack with 5kg added. Then 10kg. And so forth.
Once we level up and build discipline, the next challenge as we take our incremental small steps is to hold our current level. James Clear says it well – a day missed is a mistake. A second day in a row is the start of a new habit, of undoing the small steps we have taken. We need to avoid this. Add in the reps over a long enough time horizon and you will be unstoppable. You will have proven to yourself that you are capable. You have history of doing these things. You have gained the experience points necessary to level up.
What can starting small look like?
- Commit to getting up on time
- Commit to a 10 minute walk around the block when you wake up
- Commit to going to the gym – we aren’t worried about reps or sets or a good program
- Have one shot of coffee rather than your double or triple
- Commit to a bed time or number of hours sleep so you adjust as things come up
- Writing a 300 word post rather than a novel
- Commit to one healthier meal a week
- Commit to having dinner without being on your phone so you can be present in conversations
For me, I started small by getting up earlier. Then I added a cold shower. Once that was dialled in I started going to be earlier and having a wind down pattern. Then I focused on getting outside with sunlight in my eyes.
Start small. Build. Take small steps forward to keep the focus, build the reps, and level up.