Typically, we reduce experiences into single moments or activities, such as the joy we experience during a morning coffee walk. But it contains many elements that give the experience richness and depth.
How do I describe the smell of the parkland we enjoy walking through? It’s a nice hint of light earthiness after a light rain as we walk over the bridge crossing the river. It’s the lushness of the pines as we walk through ‘pine avenue.’ What about the sounds? The rustle of the leaves the bush turkeys have flicked onto the path as we push the pram. The birds are singing their morning calls.
It’s the light laughter of our daughter as she reacts to something she has seen as we push her by. Her coo’s and ahh’s as she sucks on her plush llama. Our voices fill the air.
As we get closer to the exit, the sound of cars begins to reach our ears. The idling of the bus as it sits at the stop for a while before driving off.
We continue our journey through the neighbourhood, cresting up a hill, turning a corner and reaching our local cafe, full of its vibrant sounds and smells.
It’s not just a walk to the cafe the morning. That one sentence can’t describe the richness or the importance of the experience. Yet, it’s so often how we communicate and share.
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The coffee walk described above contains some of the strands thta weave together to form part of the experience.
This idea of weaving came to me when reading a fantasy book. The main character learns to improve the strength of his armaments by weaving new strands into the items to increase their magical properties.
As I was thinking, I realised that we weave many strands into our experiences.
It’s not just a pleasant walk to the coffee shop with my wife and daughter. Each part of the walk adds its own weave:
- The shared experience together
- The different trees and views along the way
- How the seasons affect the walk – cooler mornings – leaves on the ground after they are shes
- The coos and ahh’s of our daughter as she plays with her toys and laughs
- The small, brief conversations with other locals on the trail
- My mum joining us twice a week
- The warm welcome and vibe of the cafe
- The cafe staff and the conversations
- The other locals at the cafe we get to speak to
- The care taken to prepare a great brew
- The way the parrots flutter away outside a house when we walk past and disturb their breakfast
- The feeling afterwards – that I have done something good
Each piece is carefully woven together to create the coffee walk experience.
So, when you remove one or more elements, the weave changes.
The morning coffee walk is different. It has changed.
You can notice what is missing, sometimes more so than others, depending on how strong or important the weave is. This means we need to reweave the event. It’s not just a matter of immediately affecting what is and moving on. It can take a lot of time for the weave to reform.
Depending on what’s been taken out, it might be an activity you no longer want to do or pursue.
Without the people, would I want to do the coffee walk? No. The views are good. The route stays the same. But it’s the connection that makes it worthwhile. However, the other areas need to be present. I would much prefer parklands than walking in circles in a room to talk to others.
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Our weaves are unique. It’s based on our preferences and interests. So, when someone describes an event or an activity, ask for more clarification. Find out the unique weaves that form part of their experience. After all, their coffee walk is going to be different to yours. How many strands will be there? What is important about the experience for them?
What about our own everyday experiences? The ones that we enjoy? What are the common weaves? They can help us by giving us information on the things we pursue. Do they align with what we value and want to be doing?
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Life becomes an ongoing weave of moments and events, holding meaning we understand. We can move towards weaving intentional moments, people, threads and values into our everyday lives and actions.
What experiences will you weave?