Amidst the global conflicts, rising prices, and widespread suffering, I’ve recently felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness about our own future. This inability to get ahead in life, especially for our children, has led to a number of thoughts that regularly creep in – how on Earth will our children be okay? If a house is unaffordable now, will they even be able to buy a unit?
This then quickly leads me to a period of some doom scrolling and general malaise, where for the rest of the day I don’t accomplish much at all. Grand plans, quickly thwarted.
Thankfully I am able to recognise these on occasion and put in place some exercises to get myself out of my head and into the moment. That’s because there is still plenty of beauty in our own personal moments. It’s my daughter jumping up and down saying “I want giraffe,” as part of a game we are playing. Or my wife laughing over a pretty rad dad joke I managed to make up. It’s the walks with family. Conversations with friends. Even just being outside for a few minutes to water the plants and hearing the birds.
Beauty is still everywhere around us.
More frequently, I have found myself thinking about my own little place in the cosmos and what that entails. It has been a useful reframe for a couple of different reasons. As a new parent, it helped to put into perspective any moment to moment struggles with a crying newborn. Right now, there will be millions of other parents going through the same thing, and billions (or trillions?) have done this before, so we will be okay.
On a more local level, it allows me to look at my own little (but not insignificant) place that I exist in and the people that I exist with. Yes, there is a war occurring. Prices are out of control. Who really knows what the future will bring. But that’s actually (and perhaps freeingly) not up to me.
Within my little path of the cosmos there are a few things up to me. Mainly, my actions and judgements. I can assess my place, what is appropriate for me to do to support myself and others, and then carry out those actions.
That’s it.
Definitely harder to do, because you have to have knowledge and a perspective on what the appropriate thing to do is. For this point, I think that having a religious outlook or a philosophy of life to lean on for guidance helps immensely, as you have a telos/goal/North Star/commandment that you are moving towards.
Here’s what my place in the cosmos look like at the moment:
Family and Self Care
- Going to the gym most mornings to get some exercise in, focusing on my form, movement, and weight progression
- Being at home by 5:30 am so I can be there when my daughter wakes up and spend time with her playing before we head downstairs
- Getting ourselves ready for the day, packed, changed, and in the car for daughter to go to grandparents and then myself on the bus for work (or have our daughter ready for the day if we are working at home so when the grandparents arrive they can play)
- Kissing my wife hello after work
- Spending more time with my daughter, progressing towards excellence in how I carry out our evening and bed routine
Work
- Doing an excellent job at work, trying (and being easily distracted at the same time) to remain focused on the tasks that matter
- Checking in with colleagues and listening to what they have to say rather than multitasking
Community
- Keeping in contact with friends, whether it be a text message every few days or making sure that an in person catchup is organise
- In our in person catchups with friends and family, being as attentive as I can be to the moment that we are in – focusing on the conversation, remembering what has been said, showing grace, noticing the environment we are in and the beauty that is there, laughing
- Reading and thinking, learning more into my chosen philosophy for life (which at the moment is heavily influenced by Stoicism)
- Being involved in the local community, stopping to chat with others on coffee walks, as an example
When you look at it, this small place that we occupy has a large significance for ourselves and those around us. We can focus on our aims, being excellent (and making progress towards excellence) in the execution, and giving our life the best performance that we can.
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