To achieve something, we have to work for a very long time and be consistent. We have to do the thing over and over and over again. To get in shape and start in shape means going to the gym again, and again, and again. Or going on a run, then another, and another, each week, every week. Or reviewing your training materials and study guides consistently. Writing thoughts down on a regular basis, on repeat.
Therefore, the key is to finding something that works for you, and to then keep doing it. Each day or week. Each year. Period.
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Find what works
What works for you is very individualised. Experiment and see what works. What’s important is to make the initial action or step to begin the process as easy as possible, and to make the whole activity itself as enjoyable as you can. Not that this means an escape from doing hard things. Rather, to make the process enjoyable, something that makes you want to do a hard thing. We have an easier time constantly doing things we enjoy.
Health examples
To take health as an example, there are lots of things we can do that could work for you. If you want to improve your fitness, that might look like:
- Going for a 10 minute walk when you wake up
- Having a glass of water when you get up
- Doing 5 pushups in the morning, and again in the evening
- Going to the gym in the morning and doing three exercises you enjoy
- Saying no to dessert three nights a week
- Walk on the treadmill / go for a cycle on the bike for 10 or 20minutes whilst watching your favourite TV show or YouTube video
- Do 10 air squats each hour when you are at home
This is just a taste of different ideas. Find what works for you, and keep doing it. Some won’t work. Take note and adjust. Some will resonate and just happen. Do more of that.
Family examples
If you want to build family rituals, it could be:
- A scheduled dinner plan with family in the calendar
- Using the start of dinner to recount your days, what you learnt, what made you giggle
- Using the first Sunday of the month as an adventure family day out
- Keep phones away from the dining table
Again, this is just a taste of what could be done. Find what works for you, and keep doing it.
If you want to get a better night sleep, something that works could be:
- Reading for 10 minutes before bed rather than looking at your phone
- Setting a bed time alarm and aim for 8 hours to sleep
- Having an earlier and lighter dinner
- Have a hot shower before bed
Know your values
What can help us find something that resonates is to understand our own values. I talk about this a lot, and to me it’s a fundamental principle that we need to adhere to. If we aren’t living in alignment with our values, or doing actions in alignment, how can they be actions that we want to continue? If our aim isn’t true, we will be off course, and it will be incredible hard to find things that work, let alone being able to constantly undertake a task or action or behaviour that gets us to where we want to go or be.
Questions to ask ourselves include:
- Does this action take me towards the person I want to become?
- Is this aligned with what I want?
- Am I doing what I ought to be doing or just wasting time?
- If I don’t want to do this, how can I make it easier to get started? Do I go for five less minutes if it’s a walk I don’t want to do, or do I put shoes out at the door, or do I pack lunch the night before?
Find what works. Keep doing it. Know where you are aiming.