“I have the keys,” my wife remarked, barely able to hold back her laughter as we left my parents place. We had walked over for dinner, and as we packed up to leave, I patted my pockets just before we walked out the door and realised I didn’t have our house keys. As we walked back to our house, my wife giggled most of the way in glee at the joke she had made about the keys and could have made. My smile was beaming despite the darkness of the night, and I laughed along too at various times. Just before we turned the final corner, my wife burst out into a loud giggle, gasping for breath. “The keys,” she got out between breathing in more air. I smiled, and teased her. These are the moments I cherish. These quieter, slower moments in life. They matter. Everyday moments are beautiful.
As I slow down and pay more attention to the seemingly smaller and simpler things, I find these moments with regularity. They happen when I’m out walking and can see the sunrise. When we notice the sun set out our window and the vibrant hues of colours on display. It’s lingering over a coffee, taking in the flavour, the smell, enjoying each sip. It is laughing whilst walking. It’s dancing around the kitchen to country music. I’m so grateful that I have these moments and can experience them daily.
It’s easy to rush and caught up in things in our lives. So easily can we go from naught to one hundred. Often, one minor delay can set us into ‘rush mode’ for the rest of the day. That extra red light at the start of the morning can take some of the momentum away from us, and suddenly we can be scrambling from one thing to the next for the rest of the day. Savoured that sip of coffee in the morning? Oops, now that extra minute caused me to get out the door later than usual and I’ve missed my bus. The next one is in 15 minutes. Now I’m going to have to hustle when I get to work to log in, quickly scan my emails, and then get to a meeting. Was that one extra sip really worth it?
I find myself easily moving into the default move of ‘rushing.’ Recently, I had just finished breakfast, and when I looked at the time, realised I’d need to quickly have a shower to get the bus I normally get.
“Coffee?” My wife asked. No, I immediately thought in my mind. You have to had upstairs right now and have a quick shower to leave. Luckily, this time at least, I stopped myself.
Why was I in such a rush? I knew I had no morning meetings, or pressing things to do that had a deadline. Why was I going to ‘rush’ and not take this opportunity to enjoy a coffee with my wife.
I smiled and nodded my head. “Sure,” I said. I got to work later than normal, yet still ‘on time.’ I’m glad I took that extra time and slowed down to enjoy that morning coffee with my wife. That was a moment that mattered.
A few days later I found myself in another moment. I was early to drop my car off for a service. I knew I could read a chapter of the book I had with me and wait the couple of minutes. Then I could get the car handed over and be on my way to work, arriving more or less when I normally do. I also knew that my wife was in the shopping centre to pick up some print jobs. So I rang her, and instead, we walked around the shops for a bit, holding hands, being in the moment. Everything else can wait 20 minutes.
I’m getting better at learning into the present and taking advantage of these moments when they appear. Of not defaulting to rushing off to the next thing. Paying more attention and making decisions that I’ll look back on with pleasure. I am the type of person that devoted time to his wife and enjoyed a coffee, or a walk holding hands. Of being involved in a conversation and lingering because there was time. That does mean, to a degree, that we also need to be aware of what we have got scheduled for the day, to know that we do in fact have 10 minutes that we can devote to slowing down.
It’s a work in progress. Let’s slow down when we can when we notice ourselves entering and being in the moments that matter to us. We don’t want to miss life as it is happening right now as we are too focused and distracted towards enjoying life one day in the future. Let’s spend more time experiencing the now rather than waiting to experience. It’s not just going to be in the future, it’s also happening right now. We need to remember this.